[ad_1]
In our relationships, one habit that pulls us out of integrity and power is focusing on the other person and what they should do differently. On how they aren’t showing up the way we want or expect or think we need them to.
But. Those of us who build the most thriving marriages, have learned The art of the pivot: to turn our attention back to ourself.
When we notice our partner not being or doing what we want, we know to turn back to ourselves to find the source of the problem (without making ourselves the bad guy!).
We know to notice the story we are making up about him not doing the dishes again. ( “He’s like a child. He doesn’t care about my well-being.”)
We notice how we are judging him (“I married a selfish jerk!”), or letting our mind run wild in fear for our future (“I’ll always have to do every single dish in the house forever— how exhausting!!!”).
We notice how bad that feels inside.
Then we take ownership of all those feelings. We see they come from all those stories and judgements and catastrophic thinking.
And we sooth ourselves. We know how to shift those ways of thinking and release those feelings. We have a specific path we take to find our way back to calm, to love.
We take charge of making our own experience of our partner better.
💫We ask for what we’d like.
💫We accept when he chooses to say no.
💫We choose what to do next.
💫We choose to love because it’s what we want to feel.
💫We choose to respect his choices.
💫We choose to do the dishes ourselves or let them sit there for days (until he finally needs one and washes them) and decide to be okay either way. To love anyway.
💫We choose loving, knowing it’s always the strongest and best choice FOR US.
Pivoting like this puts you back in control of your feelings and behavior. It puts you in a place of power, instead of at the mercy of whether your partner did the dishes or not.
It makes you feel like the highly integrated highly sensitive soul you were born to be. Which is deeply freeing and satisfying. .
#loveandmarriage #marriedlife #relationships #loveandlife #loveandrelationships #introvert
#sensitivelife #sensitivesoul
[ad_2]
Source
Leave a Reply